7 Steps How to Become Obsessed with Yourself
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[00:00:00] Welcome to Dream Body Alchemy. My name is Melissa Valentine. And today we are going to be talking about how to become obsessed with yourself. I love this topic. I love it so much. I am rerecording this episode. Actually, I recorded it about a month ago. And when I was downloading it, it disappeared.
There was a technical glitch, so I am rerecording this, but that's even better because I will get more insights. So I have seven steps. Number one, I want you to ask yourself some really juicy questions.
I believe that life is all about the quality of your questions. And it's so, true, especially for generator types or manifesting generator people who are a certain energy type. If you're not familiar with human design, this is An energy type and how we are meant to be [00:01:00] in the world,
, I Believe good questions are important for everyone, so asking yourself really good questions like, what do I love about myself? What do I love about myself? I think about this and the things that come to mind for me is, I love how much I am true to myself, to my own style.
I don't worry about the labels it is four days away from my birthday and I will be on Friday. I'll be 42. And so for a lot of people, they might think, well, your hair is too long and oh, you just got a nose ring or, you know, maybe you should wear more dainty jewelry that is more appropriate for your age or anything else.
But I've always spent my whole life dancing to my own rhythm. Like doing things on my own timing. And that is what I want you to look into yourself is what do you really love about yourself? What makes you different? What makes you [00:02:00] unique? What makes you, you an authentic and really celebrate that. Bring it to the forefront because what you love about yourself and what makes you unique, your unique gifts, your unique geniuses, even your shadows that you're working with, your darknesses.
All of those things are you, and you were created to be this version, and even in my own energetic blueprint, which I do energy readings on people in chart readings, my number one goal The theme of my life and why I'm supposed to be here is to live by my own timing is to live by my own rhythms. And it is so, so true.
So what do you love about yourself? I want you to ask yourself that. And along with those lines is who do I want to be? Because there was a time in my life where I can see where I changed a little bit. And I started to [00:03:00] line up a little bit more with what was expected for me. I was trying to maybe follow some trends. It can be as simple as I was wearing dainty gold jewelry I can look back at pictures of when I was in high school, and I was always a little different. I took senior pictures, and one of my pictures I was in a barn in a tube top with a maxi skirt, which is totally me. That's what I wear now. If you ever see me and I'm out. to dinner or, meeting up girlfriends.
I'm always wearing like a long skirt and some kind of little crop top. But I was wearing, this crystal ball necklace with a choker and I was in a barn laying down and I actually had a crystal ball in front of me. I was just laying in a barn with a crystal ball.
And I look back at that now and I go, I love that. I was really, really myself and that's who I wanted to be, and then for a few years after that, I kind of got away from That version [00:04:00] of myself. And then I just allowed myself to begin to actually be who I wanted to be and released any feeling that I had to be a different version of me because I was a mom, because I was 40 because of, you know, the people who knew me or didn't know me is so free to go.
Who do I want to be? Whether it is a version of yourself from when you were younger, whether it's a version that you kind of hide away and you don't express, or maybe there's a version of you that no one knows. Who do you want to be? And go after that. Be unapologetically the version of you because the version you want to be is placed inside of you.
That wanting, that desire, if you see someone else and you want something that someone else has, it is placed there for a reason because it is meant for you. And the last question I would say is There's a thousand questions. I actually write a [00:05:00] bunch of questions. I was sharing them with some people on my team, the dream team.
When do you feel you're healthiest, you're sexiest, you're most confident? I believe it's really important to take these moments to reflect. Like when do I feel healthiest? When do I feel confident? When do I feel my sexiest? Take note of that. Do that more. Be intentional and put those moments in your life more.
Whatever that is for you. Whether it's an action, whether it's the way you dress, whether it's being around certain people, maybe it's taking a sexy bath and lighting some candles. For me, I always feel Like my healthiest, my sexiest, my most confident when I'm listening to music, when I'm listening to music that resonates with my soul, I really resonate with sound.
And I think it goes back to the [00:06:00] fact that I'm very intuitive and I have very strong instincts. I lately have been joking if I was a superhero, I would be Catwoman because my major gifts, are instinct and intuition and, and survival and wellbeing and embodiment, like that really being in your body.
So many of us spend so much time getting out of our bodies, getting out of our bodies and distracting and numbing and. Getting ourselves busy and being in the world, but not being in our bodies. And we want to come back to being in our body because that's the only way to really heal ourselves. As women, our female energy is about embodiment.
It's about feeling. It's about the goal of feeling good and feeling good in our bodies, but you have to be present in your body to heal that. And so to really be obsessed with yourself, you have to be, you have to be connected to yourself. You have to love this [00:07:00] vessel with self care, self love, self respect.
Number two, compliment yourself.
I spent so much. Wasted time surrounding myself with people who put themselves down. And it became an environment where I felt like I had to put myself down. And don't get me wrong, I had enough of my own self esteem issues where I'm not blaming other people, but it's something I want you to get more aware of.
If you're spending a lot of time putting yourself down, whether you're getting a little bit older, or maybe you're feeling bloated, maybe you put on a little extra weight, maybe you haven't been prioritizing yourself,
I want you to be intentional about complimenting yourself. Now, this is a lot easier when you're being authentic. If you are being true to yourself, and you are taking moments to know what you love about yourself, and what makes you feel confident and sexy and healthy. If you [00:08:00] understand this and give yourself time to reflect, it's a lot easier to compliment yourself.
But find those things. Look in the mirror, not just, I'm smart. Like those are good too. And I want you to do that. But also I know women we can be very hard on ourselves physically and give yourself that opportunity. Give yourself that self love. If you need to talk to the younger version of yourself, I'm sure you wouldn't say half the things you say to yourself that you would to your younger version, or even to your best friend.
The more you compliment yourself, the more you'll get used to it. And our brains are looking for what is familiar. And so if you're in the habit of complimenting yourself and not putting yourself down Then you are going to be more receptive to it and you're going to receive it. And we need to receive these compliments from ourselves first because that's all that matters.
'cause if someone else gives us a [00:09:00] compliment, a lot of us won't receive it. We'll, we'll deflect it or we even hate it. We're uncomfortable. we'd rather have no one talk to us at all than compliment us. So it starts at home. And at home is within so compliment yourself. Get your yourself familiar with being complimented, and then you can receive that from others.
That is so powerful, especially as women, especially with the sisterhood, loving each other, empowering each other. Being for each other rather against each other. Remember, there's enough for all of us. The world is abundant. This universe is abundant. If you can think it, you can create it. You know, there is a, it's been proven that if you don't look at something, if no one's there to see it, it no longer exists.
So the same thing can go with resources, with love, with appreciation, with success. If we're all focused on [00:10:00] abundance, on beauty, on supporting each other, we are going to create more love, beauty, success in the world. So welcome those compliments starting from yourself. Number three, let's be playful. Let's be youthful.
If you want to be obsessed with yourself, You need to chill a little bit find little moments to be youthful. It can be the way you dress. What is going to be a little more fun? You could put on, I have these really sparkly boots that I wear all the time because they're fun. And every time I wear them out, I get tons of compliments and that's not why I wear them, but it's fun.
I feel giddy. I feel like I'm putting on an ornament. I feel like I'm going to a party. I feel special. Like, they bring me so much joy, and it makes me feel playful. What can you do to feel more playful? Are you putting on fun music? Are you dancing in the car? Are you leaving space in your day to do things that are fun?
Are you not taking yourself so [00:11:00] seriously? Are you not giving yourself age restrictions? I hear so many people saying, Oh, I'm getting so old, I can't do that, or they talk about their age as if they are One foot in the grave, how you think, how you speak is going to manifest on your body, in your actions, in your energy, the more youthful and playful you can be, the more youthful you will become.
I promise you listen to people's words and see the person who they're coming from. The people who are the most youthful, the most playful, they have that essence, that youthful essence.
Number four, yourself first. Prioritize yourself. Be selfish. Because when you are able to put yourself first, you are working with a full cup. And this means if there's things that you love to do, if there's self care that would really change your reality and make [00:12:00] life sweeter, then you should be doing it.
Getting your workouts in, waking up earlier and Doing your meditations, doing your journal. If you want to express yourself with the way you dress, giving yourself that time to wear the things that make you feel beautiful. Taking the programs, one of my favorite things in the whole wide world is joining groups and communities and courses and programs on personal development.
Whether it is learning how to rewire my mind, empowerment, an abundance class feminine, energetics. Right now, every day, I do some journaling specifically for my PTSD. I do specific journaling for that to help regulate my nervous system, and then I do a very specific meditation.
And then I do Some [00:13:00] self hypnosis where I focus on one of my favorite things is calling in a personal growth retreat. So I've always loved vacations, where I also was doing something work related. So I went to, last fall, around this time actually, maybe it was in November, I went to the Mystical Marriage of Science and Spirituality.
I love that stuff. It's probably the generator in me, I really enjoy traveling and new experiences, but I need this balance of personal development or work or where I feel like I'm, I need to be creating or accomplishing something to feel satisfied at the end of the day.
Because if I'm just on vacation and I'm just doing leisurely stuff, I do feel a little bit of this unsatisfiedness, where it's a little bit harder for me to sleep. This is just how I am. If you're a generator, if you know anything about that type, [00:14:00] you might have something similar, where you need to exert enough energy.
And for me, I'm very mental. I'm just a very deep thinker. I'm someone who likes to learn a lot. create patterns, strategies, I need deep thoughts. And so for me to expend my energy, a big part of it is that mental prowess that I want to be engaging and working on.
I love things like the mystical marriage of science and spirituality I am pretty introverted, but I was around the pool and somehow the conversation of why I was there came up and I started talking about So, and spirituality and energy elevation, consciousness, and all of these things.
And I pretty much gave a lecture poolside with everyone at the pool, including these funny ladies who probably had a little too much to drink. That's. cute couple who were kind of in disagreement about certain things.[00:15:00] That they all just came in. We had this incredible discussion and they're like, you know, these ladies, you can't usually get a word edgewise, but they're just fascinated .
I'm pretty introverted, but if you start. talking about something that I'm interested in and you seem open to it. I will talk your ear off for hours. Believe me, I've been to enough parties, restaurants where I know that. So be warned. But anyways, you want to prioritize yourself.
What makes you thrive? Is it giving yourself a little extra time in the morning to have coffee? Is it journaling? Is it buying expensive workout clothes so you feel really good when you go to the gym. It's whatever it is for you. For me, I love self care too. So I always get up at four in the morning and begin my day. like five hours before my group or my team meetings with my employees. So I really prioritize. Myself. Number five. Feminine [00:16:00] movement. So many women that I know are a little bit more in their masculine energy.
They're driven, they're ambitious, they're reaching goals, it's great. But when it's not in balance with feminine, it will cause illness. It will cause. Just feelings of being unfulfilled and unhappy. Feminine movement, embodiment, is really about, getting back in your body.
So, when I go to work out, I lift weights, which is a little bit more masculine, but I also dance and listen to my music in between. This is all it means. It means Moving in the body, not thinking, getting out of your head and moving in your body. It can be things like yoga. It can be things like dance. I know a lot of women who like to pole dance
so any of these more feminine movements where you are in your body, you're moving the body intuitively, this can help you tap into that [00:17:00] unexpressed part of yourself so you can find more balance.
Number six.
Simply taking time
to say, I'm exactly where I need to be. I realized on my journey, again I talk about energetics and I talk about the blueprint, but I realized that I am exactly where I need to be. There's a part of me that always wants to be further along. There's a part of me that wants to be at the finish line, that wants to know more, that wants to be further.
But the thing is, you are exactly where you need to be. It's not about the finish line. It's about who are you becoming because even if you had everything you wanted handed to you, you wouldn't be the person who could keep it.
And so the whole point of getting the things that you want out of life, even self confidence and self esteem and self appreciation and love It's all about the journey on who you [00:18:00] become. And yeah, a lot of us don't realize that until afterwards. So every hardship that you go through, you can take a moment to go, what is the positive takeaway that I received?
What is the lesson I learned? Why are my blessings coming slower? It's all about being patient and surrendering.
So giving yourself that permission to trust, to be patient, and realize that you are exactly where you need to be. And number seven, just as movement for the body is so important, especially when it is energetically aligned. With your unique blueprint, stillness for the mind. So what's good for the body with movement is the same as what's good for the mind with stillness.
So, you need to do to become obsessed with yourself, is giving yourself that space. For some kind of [00:19:00] faith practice, for some kind of journaling, for just sitting in the moment and being still and quieting the mind.
This is something that I highly recommend every single day. It goes back to making yourself a priority. I can tell a huge difference on the days that I Do my morning practices, rituals, and they're not always exactly the same. Now, for some people, you might thrive in having a very particular routine, and some people, energetically, they're meant to ebb and flow.
There is no one way. This is so unique. Each of our energetics are like a fingerprint. But finding some kind of time. Whether it's in the afternoon. Maybe you need a little rest. I find that sometimes I'm a little tired in the afternoon if I just take a moment to turn everything off, close my eyes and rest,
wHat Is going to happen? It's going to [00:20:00] allow you space to let the universe fill the void with intuition, creativity. Maybe you just need rest for your nervous system to regulate. But finding those little moments of stillness. So important.
For how you can become obsessed with yourself. If you have any questions, you can always reach out if you liked this episode like the episode if you want more of this content, please subscribe to my youtube channel or follow my podcast dream body alchemy and Obviously always leave a comment.
I appreciate it so much and it's great for the algorithms. And lastly, if you want, I have my dream body alchemy book that is available for free. And I'm coming out with the aligned body breakthrough, where you get a free strategy call.
You can always find the links of my book, my podcast, any of my [00:21:00] socials, and any way to work with me below until next time. Love you guys.
