[00:00:00] Welcome everybody to episode number four of the DreamBody Alchemy podcast. My name is Melissa Valentine and today we are going to be talking about the power of authenticity and self expression. This is, this is going to be good. I love this topic. This really is so important. It's vital. in your transformational journey.
I want to talk about breaking free from societal norms and really being able to stand in your truth. This is so important because
a lot of us [00:01:00] wake up
with an agenda of pleasing others, of proving our worth. not feeling like we're enough and taking each moment in the day and so much of it is subconscious. I would veer to say almost all of it, 98 percent of it is subconscious that we are just running on this program of what is right, what is wrong, what is acceptable and we are Telling our inner child.
We are telling our soul our spirit to hush. We are so caught up in the humanness of this experience that we ignore [00:02:00] that we are spirits. We are souls. We are energy. In a human avatar, and I don't know what you believe, you have to know that there is something more than this body. Now this body is an incredible resource for truth.
It is our compass, but most of us have blocked off
the messages, the signals. The feelings, the sensations that are guiding us on our path towards fulfillment, towards our purpose, towards joy and peace, and we don't even know it. Like, our bodies are telling us every moment, in every decision we [00:03:00] make, and we are, we are blocking these blessings. We are blocking the infinite.
Wisdom that is within each of us. So, this is why it is so important to understand and embrace the power of authenticity and self expression because we are, we are powerful creators. We are manifestors. We are creators. We create. We think things up and where thoughts come from. Again, might be a topic for another podcast.
Do thoughts come from inside? Where do these thoughts come from that we claim as our own? Because I'm going to tell you right now, you are not your thoughts because those thoughts come and go, right? Like, you're not in there contriving a thought. The thought comes. Now, whether you identify with it, claim it, take ownership of it and take action on it is a whole nother [00:04:00] topic.
Again, which this is why I try to keep my podcast to 30 minutes or below, because I could, and I was talking about this the other day with someone, I think we actually talked for like two hours, I could dive so deep and connect all the dots because that is what I need. Do that is one of my superpowers is I can learn a thousand different things.
It takes me a really long time to learn things But the way I learn is I'm connecting all the dots. I'm finding the patterns and I'm creating the strategies and that's what I want To you know present to you guys to make it digestible to understand how all of these things are Related
your inner guidance system Is talking to you and our job is to listen and we haven't been most of us have not been and that is [00:05:00] why we have unwanted weight because we have Actual weight on our shoulders that is not ours that we are carrying around with us that it's time to release that is put on us by society, by our parents, by our friends, by generational, you know, karma norms.
So what we need to do is we need to tap into that inner compass of ours, tap into self expression, because again we are creators, we are powerful creators, we are creating our realities. Thoughts turn to things, and that is so important on this journey. And if we are not surrendering to [00:06:00] that innate, Drive within humans, within you, there's going to be consequences and they manifest, like I said, as weight, as disease, as, you know, low energy frequencies, low vibrations that manifest as negative emotions and low self worth and low self esteem, bad relationships, money problems.
You are creating this, and we want to tap back into the vibration of creativity and self expression, and it starts with these couple things. Now, I want you to reach your full potential, and there's three things that I've kind of come up with, but there's a plethora of things. So there's something called, number one, there's something called Hinging points.
This is not like a known term. I [00:07:00] have a mindset coach in Australia that talked about Peter Shaw talks about this thing that he calls hinging points and he says that
everything in our life. Hinges on these couple points, and they're unique to each person. So they're not the same for each person. So if you're feeling like a hot mess, if you are feeling like your life is out of order, nothing is working out, it's very possible that you've missed these hinging points. And it's not that everything is out of alignment, it's that you're missing these vital things that everything else hinges upon, and then everything feels like it's going amok.
So let's say... Now, there's some different ones. There's some that are based on you, like things that you control, like your diet, your exercise, your alone time, [00:08:00] vacation, like things that you have bodily autonomy over. These tend to be the easiest ones to get because you are in charge of them. They also tend to be the easiest ones that we ignore.
So if you're someone who knows you have to eat a healthy breakfast and a healthy dinner, Or a healthy breakfast and a healthy lunch to feel your best, and then you can kind of play around with dinner, but let's say you start your day with doughnuts, then your whole day goes to crap because your blood sugar, the way you feel about yourself, your energy, whatever it is, doesn't matter if you know that, but yet.
Some co worker brings in donuts at work and you go, well, you know, and they pressure you like, oh they spent this Oh, they did such a nice thing you should and you do it Anyways, that's your hinging point and you threw out your whole day and now your whole day is gonna feel like It's out of control, and it could be a multitude of things.
It could be you making sure you get your eight hours of [00:09:00] sleep, or it could be you just make sure that you get eight hours of sleep at least six times a week. It could be that you give yourself a full hour in the morning to do some kind of routine. It could be you need to get your exercise in. You need to at least get, like, whatever it is, if you know there's something that when you do it, you feel like you have your...
stuff together, then you have a responsibility to ensure you get it. Your hinging point could also be dependent on someone else. So I had someone who their hinging point was dependent on their significant other, supporting them mentally, emotionally, cheering them on. So your hinging point could be
having a special time with someone. Right. It could be, you know, taking care of your family, [00:10:00] having specific relationships. It could be outside of yourself, dependent on other people and what they do. This is a little bit harder because it does depend on other people. And then there's another one. I think he was calling it like weird and wacky or I don't know if he changed the name of it, but it could be something specific.
So one of the examples is that you have to be the best in the room. Like, your, how you feel good, how you get along, how you feel like you are worthy, making sure everything else in your life is going well. You have this deep desire to be the best in the room, or maybe you're really competitive, or maybe dressing and being the best dressed.
Maybe you need to get ready. Maybe you need, maybe you're the person who needs mascara and your hair done. And people are always like, Oh, you don't need to worry if you're blah, blah, this self conscious, it could be a hinging point. Like some people are like, Oh, we have a [00:11:00] messy house. That's great. But for some people having a clean orderly house is a hinging point.
I know for a fact, one of my rituals in the morning is I have to do some energy work. I have to make sure my house is clean because that is how I feel like my mind is clean and then I can focus on all these other things. I have this whole morning routine. Again, it's not something everyone can do, but this is how I run my life because once I have my things done, my work portion is something I But if I force myself to go in a different order, if I force myself to ignore some of the things that are my hinging points, the rest of my life would feel like it was a hot mess and just getting your hinging points.
Let's say you need to eat, you know, every three hours and you're supposed to go into a meeting and all you, you know, you need a snack and they convince you not to have the snack. No, have the snack, [00:12:00] do your thing, clean your house. Whatever it is, if it's a, you know, a 15 minute run every day, whatever it is that, you know, when I have these two or three things in my day, then the rest of my life falls into place, that is authentic.
That is specific to you and you. are responsible to not giving that up. So again, it's not that your whole life is a mess. It might just be you're missing one or two things that when you do those, it allows you to move through the rest of your day. Focus, productive, in flow, in good energy, confident, hinging points.
Okay. And again, like I said, there's a couple of different There's a couple different categories. It's different for everyone, but just think back if you're feeling like a hot mess But you had a time when you had your shit together What were those two or three things? number [00:13:00] two is We got to be very highly attuned to the things that
Make us feel low vibes so For the longest time, I personally hid myself. I hid portions of myself because I did not think it would be accepted. And I'm not 100 percent out of that yet. But I can tell you that it makes a huge difference in your confidence When you fully accept yourself Because no matter what everyone is not gonna accept you.
So I always hid my complicated mind I am [00:14:00] NOT an Intelligent smart maybe in a conventional way. I can't read through a ton of books and have great Comprehension. I am dyslexic, so my, I have a lot of spelling errors. I, like, I, there's a lot of things that I'm not great at, but. I'm really great at pattern recognition.
I'm really great at creating strategies and finding how things connect on the deepest level. I have a mind that kind of works like a web, like a, like a spider web. And I love ideas like quantum physics, epigenetics, energy, healing frequencies, all of these things that Are not normal. And now I could take this back to my personality type, which is an INFJ, which I guess is the most rare type, which would mean that there's not a lot of people who think like I do, [00:15:00] but the main point is, is it's not.
When I'm talking about health and fitness, I was bored of talking of diet and exercise, especially since I was spending all my time researching and studying and taking courses and programs and, and coaches were diving into things like quantum physics, talking about epigenetics, talking about how energy affects The body, how energy affects healing, how our energy affects our healing, how our increased consciousness affects other people, just by being in our presence.
I kept from talking about things like my intuition and my knowing, which again is a form of intelligence, but it's not the mental and it's not even the heart intuition and knowing is a kind of intelligence that [00:16:00] you're born with. That you can't really explain how you know what you know, but again, diving into things like human design and the gene keys revealed to me, and this is what I want you to take away from this is that this is who I am and I always.
Hid that part of me because I couldn't understand. I couldn't explain what I knew and why I was the way I was so I pretended to be a different version of myself around people to make, make myself more palatable to them, to the conversations that they were having to their life experiences to the way they chose to do life.
Now, none of this is wrong. This is what I want. You know, I want to express that we are all different. And what our job is, is to be authentic and real and give ourselves [00:17:00] permission to be ourselves and allow people to be themselves. There is no right or wrong. We are all different. There's, you know, 16 different personalities.
There are on, there's infinite amount of blueprints for your DNA and your design and your energetics. There is infinite amounts of gifts and geniuses and how you are put together is not better or worse than someone else. But there is a better or worse way for you to go about life and understanding that and getting a better.
appreciation for your uniqueness. We want to really allow each [00:18:00] other to be our best versions. And the really cool thing is, is when you start to understand, like I was talking about with the low level energies and the mid and the high, when we start to understand energy and we can understand how people.
Come to conclusions with their beliefs when we can start to understand there's things that we understand consciously and we're aware of. And there's so much more that we are unconscious about when we can be in a place in our life. Where we are happy to be ourselves, we're unapologetic, we don't filter ourselves, we don't dim our own life or our own light, and we can do it simultaneously while appreciating and loving people for who they are and where they're at.
Because [00:19:00] judging people. from being different or being in a different place or having different values is silly. One, because if you understand consciousness and consciousness understanding itself, it needs different perspectives. It needs different points of view to understand all possibilities.
I hope that makes sense. So there's so many different ways to live this world. There's so many ways to be. There's so many hobbies and passions and personalities and missions and visions and the way we want to move our bodies, the things we want to eat, the conversations we want to have, the people we want to surround ourselves, the animals we might rather talk to than other humans, the [00:20:00] extroverts, the introverts.
The people who are highly intelligent, the people who are infinitely empathetic, the ones who are knowing without knowing how they know. And it's just intuition. All of these versions are incredible and beautiful and amazing. And this is why it's so powerful. If we can all just allow ourselves to be who we are and allow each other to be who they are.
Without hurting each other, obviously,
then we're just giving each other permission to be who we are and how freeing is that that is? Incredible and so if you can be good with yourself on the inside with all your quirks [00:21:00] with all your weirdness with all the things that aren't acceptable to society How boring would that be anyways? With all your shadows, the shadows that got you to where you are.
Side note, your shadows are just the lower frequency of your GIFs. The things you may not like in yourself, do not judge them. Raise your frequency and you will unlock your gifts. Say, you've heard the saying probably that your, your greatest strength is also your greatest weakness. It's kind of like that.
So again, always coming back to the energy, but your inner world, when you really give yourself permission. And that's what I'm here to do. [00:22:00] Like, when I go day by day, and I'm somewhere and I'm feeling an urge to. If you know me at all, if you don't know me, if I feel an urge to dance, which is almost all of the time, I'm gonna be, the more I give myself permission, if I feel like skipping, if I feel like going outside and sitting in the grass for an hour and just staring at the chipmunks, if I feel like cleaning my house, if I feel like winking at someone when I walk by them, When I get these urges and I just do them because it's like this energy bubbling up inside of me.
I do them, not just for myself, but for anyone else to give them permission to be more themselves. Because every time I [00:23:00] stop myself from being who I am, I am no longer being the leader I want to be. And I'm not a leader as in, I want to lead other people. I want to lead myself. I want to lead myself. I want to be, I want to be the, The person I wanted in my life when I was little, I want to be that version, right?
The version who's unapologetic, who's quirky, who does the things that feels good to them and gives permission to others to feel and do the same. You don't need a reason to give a flirtatious wink to someone or to start dancing or... You know, to put on a full face of makeup to go to the gym, or dress up to go to the gas station, or...
Go sit outside [00:24:00] and sit in wet grass and just hang out with the animals. I don't know These are just weird things that I might do With that being said this is what is so incredibly Powerful about self expression and being authentic and when you allow yourself to remove the filters of worrying about what other people are doing and Stopping yourself from doing it you Release this energy, this joy that you've been bottling up, and then it spills over to the other people in your life.
And when you're no longer bottling this, you are elevating your energy. Which, like I said, not only are you unlocking your own gifts and your own genius, you are unlocking the frequency of creativity. Opening up that childlike [00:25:00] essence. That is the true essence. We're like, we are like children and sages in the same body.
And really the childlike version of us is the closest to a sage most of us has ever been. If we can bottle that up and we let go of the things that we've been resisting, our health and our bodies will fall into place. Because it's the resisting, it's the, it's the numbing. It's the hiding. It's the pretending.
It's the not living our truth. It's the putting ourselves down. It's not feeling good enough. That is keeping us stuck in [00:26:00] bodies. That don't feel good, that don't feel free. So, again, one, we want to figure out what our unique hinging points are. What two or three things must you have that are non negotiable that keep you going?
We want to two, Release the shame, release that low level energy, those low vibes. Give yourself permission to play, to be yourself, to take those cues and go with it and think I'm giving my, I'm, when I give myself permission, I give everyone else permission in number three, three, be more you. Like, who are you?
Who are you meant to be? What do you really love? What do you really want to do? Listen to your intuition when it says, I want to do this, I don't want to [00:27:00] do this. I always say for myself, now everyone's intuition is a little bit different, but, um, my intuition is sacral. So, it's a, it's a yes or it's a no.
There is no black or white. It's a hell yes or a heck no. There's no in between and it's instant. And so I use that as knowing, like, is this something I'm supposed to be doing or not? That's the easiest way to know if you are on the right path. If you're feeling resistance, if you're feeling stressed, if you're feeling low level anything, pause and go, what do I really want to be doing in this moment?
Taking a nap? Dancing? Watching a movie? Going outside?
Starting a podcast. Again, the [00:28:00] way I love to use, um, human design and the gene keys in that process and diving really deep with people, including myself, my friends, my family, my clients. So rewarding because it's like you're getting that confirmation of that knowing, that intuition. Especially if you've spent most of your life ignoring it.
If you're someone who feels a lot of stress, resistance, low level energies, it's a good sign that you have been ignoring your intuition and following the roadmap of society, of someone else's plan and not your own. So it's so powerful when you finally just allow yourself, give yourself permission to be 100 percent yourself, express yourself.
That is why. We are here and this is when you're going to find that flow, that joy and alignment and harmony within your [00:29:00] body. I hope you have an incredible rest of your day and I will see you guys next week. Thank you guys so much for spending your time with me. If you want to work with me, dream body alchemy, grab the book and I will talk to you guys next week.
Bye guys.
